"Hero Complex"

   In my last blog entry I mentioned a list of characteristics of the perfect man for me. I wrote this list in high school after a bad, puppy-love breakup. I am typing this out exactly how I wrote it then. Here it is:

1) Taller than me and big muscles
2) Sense of humor
3) Outgoing personality
4) Dark headed and dark complected with a nice smile and lips
5) Christian
6) Makes good grades and responsible
7) Big truck, likes outdoors
8) Close to his momma
9) Likes animals but also likes to fish: NO PANSY!
10) Wants to move away from Wedowee

   Of course these days I am less interested in a man's chemistry grade from high school and more interested in the chemistry between the two of us. I would like to replace No. 6 with "has common sense". Other than that, I still have the same preferences, but who doesn't? My list is dead-on and pretty impossible. There is some moving room for my list. I could possibly overlook the fact that a guy doesn't have a big truck, but that is quite possibly the only one I would want to do without. What can I say? I'm picky. Not shallow, I just know what I want.

What a Girl Wants

   After almost 15 years of dating (my first date was a double date when I was 14) I have learned more about myself and the type of people I gel with. Within 5 minutes of meeting a person I can tell whether we will hit it off or not. When I was online dating I took less than 2 seconds to review most profiles I and instantly knew if I would be able to take the conversation further than "hello". When I look back at the type of men I have connected with, there is one strange thing that sticks out. I'm pretty sure I have what is called a "hero complex".

 
   It's certainly not intentional. The repercussions for having this complex have cost me a lot of heartache and worry...but it always happens. I am attracted to men who have jobs that are considered dangerous, especially those in civil service. I have never dated an accountant. I have never dated a financial advisor. I have dated 4 firemen, 2 policemen, and an Army Ranger.When I say "dated", I don't mean I've been on a date with them, I mean those were my only serious relationships. Obviously, there is a pattern, but as I said it's definitely not on purpose. Plus, we all know you will never be rich doing that kind of job! That's beside the point. The point is that so many people joke around with me about my hero complex. They seem to find it funny that every relationship I've ever had has failed. Well, guess what? I don't see the humor in it at all. Shame on anyone who has ever made fun of me for having a preference. I have never looked for a guy to date based on their job. I just happen to work around these "hero types" often and at my age it seems a lot of single men work in one of these service professions. If I was going to choose a guy based on his profession, he would be a doctor or a lawyer, or a casino owner. But, I prefer those big muscles, and those muscles often go along with specific types of professions. You don't have to be strong to file papers behind a desk. I like to feel protected and I love a man that takes care of himself. So, it's just my type! I will just have to learn to deal with it and everyone else can tell it to the toilet and flush it.
   Through it all, I have become my own hero and I know that I am the only one that can save myself from depression and self-loathing. I am still chugging along because of me, no one else! And I love myself :)
   Here's to love!

"Hero"